Valrhona Caraibe SingleEstate Grand Cru
by PoweredButchZ
Summary: After Ronan takes off to Ireland, Carmela seeks the help of Dairine to get him back. When it doesn't work out as planned, they find the solution in each other. DairineCarmela


_This fanfic ships DairineCarmela, in other words it has two girls being lesbian. So, if you don't like that kind of thing, don't read it. Stop now and close the window or go back to the main page. This takes place after Wizards at War. There may be slight spoilers for that if you care. I don't know anything about A Wizard Of Mars yet, so we depart from continuity here. Oh, and for the duration of this fic, I "own" Young Wizards, which means I plunder the characters and situations any way I like._

The bugs chased Carmela relentlessly. All around the horrible things swarmed, their claws moving around like some nightmarish dance. Up the stairs they chased her. Down the stairs they chased her into a large dome-shaped room. Carmela blasted them in the face with a wizardly insect repellent that melted them down into magical sparklies. All around she sprayed them as she ran, and ran, and ran right into a waterbed-like belly. She bounced off the King onto the floor. Above her, It looked into her with those menacing eyes, about to infect her with his nasty bug babies Carmela guessed. Being a king, it was kind of a guy, and being a guy that is not a hottie, he was a pervert, and perverts must be dealt with in her own way.

As the King closed in on her, Carmela let out a shrill yell. It's smile grew. It's eyes became more evil. And she brought an electric fly swatter down in his head. It writhed in agony, electrified by the wizardry leakage enhanced-zapper. The king leapt back, stunned. Carmela got to her feet and posed with a satisfied look.

"Uh, uh." she said, waving her finger.

Her face fell. The King sprang back forwards, this time with cords dangling from it's claws. At the end of each one, the shattered remains of the TV and DVD player hung there with smoke billowing out of them. On the dais, the remote lay crushed. Carmela looked at the bug zapper. It disappeared with a puff of wizardry sparklies. Throwing the former wizardry-enhanced electronics to the side, the King once again descended onto Carmela, bringing his claw down hard.

Which was blocked by a gleaming sword. Carmela opened her eyes and looked up. Her heroic knight pushed off the claw with his sword, then rushed toward the King and took a sword swipe at it. It brought it's claw up to block, but the knights target was It's wrist, and he cut the claw off with a clean swing, sending the claw flying off. The King moaned in agony, letting out a fountain of it's disgusting bug guts, which somehow managed not to hit either of them. The knight turned around, and Dairine winked at her in dashing Wellakhit valkyrie armor. Carmela gasped in surprise. The King took this opportunity to attack. It grabbed Dairine around the waist.

"NO!"

Carmela tried to run to help Dairine, but she was frozen in place. He brought the squirming Dairine closer to his ugly bloated bug body. Inside, Carmela could see his angry grubs, thrashing about waiting to infect their host. She was only able to look in horror, as the handmaidens threw bars of chocolate into his mouth. The chocolate gave way to her bedroom and she woke up, the clock radio playing some bland pop song from somewhere in our galaxy. Carmela sat up, eyes wide. The music muted slightly.

"Ohayou gozaimasu!" the clock radio said. It seemed nothing in the house was safe anymore. Last week it was the blender.

"Huh? Ah... Ohayou~!" said Carmela, who collapsed back down into her soft warm pillow. The music muted into the background.

"Ojousama, Meeru de gozaimasu!" announced the clock radio. It's LED lit up with a blinking mail icon that made an annoying blip.

Carmela sat up. "What is it?"

A projection appeared above the radio with various status readings in the Speech superimposed on it. The message played back and Dairine's face appeared.

"That thing you were asking about is ready. You can come over today and we'll give it a try. Nita's out on errantry with Kit and Dad's gone on vacation for the weekend, so you don't have to be embarrassed or anything," Dairine rolled her eyes. "Anyway, later."

The mail ended and the projection disappeared. Carmela pushed a button to mute the music and switch language.

"Would you like to save this message?"

"No, I got it."

Dairine had *it* ready, that which was the answer to her dreams, or at least, one of her dreams. Some weeks before, Carmela had allowed the Irish hottie to escape. Why she did this she couldn't imagine, but not again. This time he would be in her bed, not the Callahan's. He was the answer. Only Ronan could prove to herself what she needed to know, the truth about these horrible nightmares. He would make her a woman.

Excited, 'Mela threw on her clothes, brushed her teeth, and ran into the living room. Upon her entrance the TV, DVD player, and remote gave her a "Ohayou gozaimasu!"

"My bag please." Carmela said.

Out of the TV, an oversized pink "purse" appeared and she grabbed it, and then went out the front door. The door locked by itself.

From the other side of the door the devices all wearily said in unison. "Itte kimasu!"

Dairine sat in her room holding a ball of wizardly light.

"It should take her a while to get ready." She thought. "I'll go downstairs and make some..."

The doorbell rang and rang and rang. And rang.

"…wizards tend not to swear." Dairine said, and went down to answer the door.

A pink flamingo, or was it Carmela stood there in front of Dairine.

"Hi, Dair! I got your message. Hope I didn't take too long."

"Come on in, 'Mela."

After getting a couple of sodas from the fridge the two girls went up to Dairine's room and closed the door. Dairine got out the ball of light she was holding earlier.

"It's so tiny!" Carmela said.

"Fit it into the space on your device."

Carmela retrieved from her pocket the box. She ordered it off the alien shopping channel after Kit told her Ronan wouldn't be coming back from Ireland and now she was finally going to use it. It cost a fortune, but she could afford it because she was an intergalactic chocolate dealer. She took the ball of light and placed it into a dome shaped indent of the box and set it back down.

"Okay, I'll do the spell." Dairine said.

Dairine said the words in the speech that would enable the box to do what it was about to do. At first she was totally against such a thing. She told Carmela it was an abuse of her wizardry and she was walking a tightrope already with her Seniors, but then later when she read up on the limitations of the clone, she changed her mind, figuring it was harmless enough. Aside from the spell on the device, what it did itself wouldn't be too closely tied to her wizardry, not like copying things with Spot.

The air went silent around them. Dairine said the final words in the Speech, tied the wizard's knot, and turned the wizardry loose on the clone grower, which sucked in the ball of light and then lit up with various colors. A moment later, Ronan Prime stood between them.

"Ronan!" the clone said, throwing his arms in the air.

"Hah, it works!" Carmela said.

Dairine was at a loss for words. Finally, she said "That... is..."

"Miiine!" said Carmela. "My precious." She made circles on his chest with her finger.

"Ronan?"

Carmela gave Dairine a questioning look. Dairine shrugged her shoulders and nodded back and forth.

"Can he say anything else?" Carmela said.

"Anything else!"

"I should not have asked." Dairine said.

"Ronan!"

"To compensate for the exactness of the copy, the clone's intelligence is reduced by an amount in proportion to the..."

"Aw who cares? He's. So. Fine." Carmela said, smiling hungrily.

After talking about this and that for a while, Carmela told Dairine she had to get back home.

As they left the bedroom, Carmela dragging Ronan along by the hand, Dairine reached into a "pocket" where she kept stuff and pulled out an elegant black bar.

"I almost forgot about this. There's a wizardry on it now so it won't harm the clone. So you can feed it chocolate now if you want though I don't know why you would think it needs chocolate."

Dairine held out the chocolate bar to her and Carmela carefully took it and put it in her pocket. Behind her Ronan's eyes bugged out and followed the bar from Dairine's hand to Carmela's pocket.

"Thanks Dair. You're a true friend. I'll see you tomorrow."

Carmela headed out the front door.

"Wait 'Mela! There's something else!"

Carmela was already running down the street, pulling Ronan behind her.

Dairine slowly closed the door, dejected.

Back at the house, Carmela came into the living room. The TV went to life, displaying a TV guide of alien programming.

"Okaerinasai!" the TV, DVD player, and remote shouted.

"Uh, tadaima, guys. Hey, would you mind doing me a favor?"

"More shopping?" the TV said.

"A movie?" the DVD player said.

"Yeah, let's watch something!" the remote said.

"Not right now. I was wondering if we could do that modification we talked about."

"Certainly," the DVD player said. "Please hand it to me."

She pulled out the bar of Valrhona Caraibe Single-Estate Grand Cru and put it in the DVD player's disc tray. The tray retracted along with the bar into the DVD player. The TV displayed some strange visualization for a moment, and then returned to the TV guide station. The disc tray retracted with the bar.

"Your wizardry has been modified!" said the DVD player.

"Thanks guys," Carmela said. "You're the best!"

"Dou itashimashite!" the devices said at once.

Carmela took the bar and Ronan into her room. She shut the door behind her.

"Now," Carmela said, "You and I are going to have a lot of fun. As long my brother doesn't find out,"

"Ronan! Brother!"

"As long as my parents don't find out,"

"Ronan! Parents!"

"And as long as Nita doesn't find out."

Ronan's expression suddenly, drastically changed. It almost looked to Carmela like he was... hopelessly lovesick?

"Nita!"

"Cool, you can say something else."

Carmela smiled and got closer to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She leaned in for a kiss.

"Nita, I love you!"

"WHAT?"

Carmela pushed back from him.

"Oh Nita, where are you! I have to kiss you again."

Carmela wore a rare angry, frustrated, expression, with a bit of hurt.

"You KISSED her?"

"Yeah, when she was in Ireland. It was so nice. If only I could get Kit to effing go away, I would kiss her and only her."

Carmela growled in rage, pushing him again and again!

"You damn bastard! AAAARGH!"

A few minutes later Dairine heard an angry knocking at her door. "That was soon for Carmela." she thought. "This idea was a guaranteed recipe for trouble."

The front door opened on it's own. From seemingly nowhere, Dairine's voice said "Come in 'Mela. I'm upstairs."

Dairine heard the front door close and a rumble on the stairs. Soon her door swung open, and an angry Carmela carried in a love struck Ronan and threw him to the ground. It deterred him not one bit.

"Oh Nita. I would do anything for you." Ronan said.

"He's gotten really expressive." Said Dairine.

"Yeah, and all of it about Nita!"

"Hey, Nita's my sister. You got a problem with that? Not that I solve her problems for her or anything but..."

"Please Dairine, can you get rid of him somehow? I'm done with wizardly former-avatar spear wielding Irish boys, forever!"

"Get rid of him? That's kind of mean. He's a clone with a very limited lifespan, but he's still sort of a person. You want me to just send him somewhere?"

"Fine with me! Anywhere but here."

Dairine turned to Ronan.

"Where would you like to go?" she asked him.

"Nita!" Ronan said.

"Okay, hold on a sec."

Dairine said the words in the Speech and, with Spot's assistance, the spell took effect. Ronan disappeared in a puff of displaced air.

"Is he gone?" Carmela said.

"Yes," Dairine said. "I sent him to where Nita is."

Carmela and Dairine sat there looking around silently for a moment, then laughed out loud.

"Haha do you know what you've done?" Carmela asked.

"I didn't think about it." Dairine said, giggling.

"Oh well, let them figure it out." Carmela said.

"I guess so. That's all we can do." Dairine said.

Since she didn't have anything to do that night, Carmela and Dairine decided she could stay over.

Later on, after playing around with Carmela's makeup, they were sitting around in jeans and t-shirts talking about stuff in Dairine's room. They exchanged stories about planets they'd been to, the best and worst of TV shows around the galaxy, and then the topic came back to the last time they saw Ronan.

"I should have known something like that was up. I guess I'll always be second best to Nita. They think I'm nothing because I'm not out zapping stuff with wizard powers." Carmela said.

"You're not nothing. You saved us all, 'Mela."

"Yeah, but who's going to save me?"

"Uh, I don't know. All kinds of things have happened lately. Someone with a suit of armor and a gleaming sword!" Dairine said.

Carmela rolled her eyes.

"Right. Then they'll jump in front of me trying to fight the bad guy," Carmela said.

"And slice that guy up!"

"Yeah, but what if they get caught themselves?"

"That wasn't their fault. They were distracted!" Dairine said.

"And got picked up by the bad guy,"

"And dragged into him."

They both pointed at each other.

"You had it too!" Dairine and Carmela said.

They both looked away from each other in a moment of nervousness. Carmela looked up.

"Thanks." Carmela said.

"It was only a dream. I had to save you 'Mela." Dairine looked into her eyes.

"Would you do it again?" said Carmela.

"Do what?" said Dairine.

A long time passed and their faces were just inches away. Each one dared to move closer.

"Save me." said Carmela.

They could feel the warmth of each other's faces.

"If I can keep you." said Dairine.

Lightly at first, the two girls' lips touched, brushing against each other, experimenting with the new feeling. Carmela and Dairine wrapped their arms around each other in a tight hug, giving each other what they needed physically and emotionally. They had an understanding like no one else had. More and more passionately they kissed. Their hands dropped down to intertwine their fingers.

"That won't be a problem," Carmela said between kisses. "This isn't ReiMinako."

Carmela kissed Dairine up against the side of the bed on the Star Wars bedspread. Dairine slipped out of Carmela's embrace and went behind her. When Carmela turned around, Dairine caught her mouth again and pinned Carmela's hands to the bed. They parted slightly, their lips still close, both of them gasping for air.

"I'll do the saving here." Dairine said, kissing her.

"You wizards always do that… but it feels so good."

Their mouths went back together and Carmela stuck her tongue out at Dairine's, giving it an experimental lick. Dairine gave her one back, then broke off again. With their mouths slightly apart, they took turns licking each other's tongues, swirling them around. Dairine held onto Carmela with her full weight and caused them to tumble onto the floor.

On the carpet, they locked lips so that the tongue licking became a mindless frenzy of tongue rubbing. Dairine pushed her on the side a little. Carmela got the idea and with her help, Dairine rolled around on top. With Carmela lying down on the floor, the smaller girl straddled her and they resumed their tongue kissing. Their tongues dueled into a raging heat that spread throughout their bodies.

Their blushing faces looking at each other in amazement as they broke off the kiss. A line of combined saliva connected their tongues for a moment and then broke. Dairine sat there for a minute on top of Carmela, their hearts beating fast, trying to catch their breath. Carmela's shirt was pulled up halfway from rolling around. Behind Carmela's head, Dairine noticed at some point the chocolate bar had fallen out of her pocket onto the floor. She picked it up. Carmela looked to her side at what Dairine was doing and startled.

"No, It fell out! It's not ruined is it?"

"It's perfectly fine. Why do you care? You were going to feed it to the clone anyway."

"Oh yeah, that's right. I was..."

Carmela gasped and looked up at what Dairine was doing. She had pulled the wrapping off, peeled off the foil, and broke off one of the squares.

"Dairine, wait!"

She had already eaten it.

"What's wrong now?" Dairine said.

Carmela couldn't help laughing.

"Nothing r-really heh" Carmela said.

Dairine had an "I'm in Heaven" expression on her face.

"This is... so... good. Oh My God." said Dairine.

She pointed the bar at Carmela.

"Want some?"

Carmela looked at the bar a little unsure and took it from Dairine.

"Dair, are you feeling alright?"

"Never been better. This is the happiest day of my life," Dairine said.

Dairine looked Carmela in the eyes. She lazed down beside her. Carmela put her arm around Dairine and held her by her side.

"And it's all because of you."

Carmela took a bite from the bar, not taking her eyes off of Dairine's. She chewed it for a moment, and then swallowed.

"Wow."

They lay there for a long moment, taking in the sensation.

"I told you."

"That's incredible, Dair. I've never felt better."

They each took a couple bites more. Dairine sat up and shook her head out.

"Carmela, there's something strange about this chocolate. Are you sure it didn't go bad or something?"

Carmela sighed. She sat up.

"Dair,"

"Oh my god 'Mela, you look so weird. My body feels hot all over."

"Me too. I think this is what... other species feel when they eat chocolate."

"Spot can't talk to the... peridexis to... oh... get any power. What did you do... to this... chocolate bar?"

"The DVD player changed it... so it works on humans, oh my god, including... what it does... to silicon-based... lifeforms."

Dairine reached and touched Carmela's face and shoulders and arms, touching her all over. Carmela backed up, scared of the intensity of Dairine's desire. Somehow they managed to get onto the bed.

"What... do we do... now?" Dairine said.

"It... usually... wears off... in a while" Carmela said, squirming around.

"Carmela, we should... eat... it... aaaall." Dairine said, and holding each end of the chocolate bar in their mouths, they finished it together.


End file.
